Well, this week has been one frustrating event after another.  Our car is in need of MAJOR repairs, that we can not afford, and it getting to the point where it isn't safe to drive.  May I underline the "WE CAN NOT AFFORD" point.  All our savings will be spent in this move, and we are praying that this summer, we will find jobs to replenish said savings.  All was going according to plan until the auto shop called on Tuesday.  Since then, I honestly have felt dead inside - hollow - not sure what to do.  We haven't done anything about the car, because there is nothing we can do right now.  I've prayed for a miracle all week, because there is no money to fix the car (we have a car repair fund, but there isn't enough in it - not even close!)

You may think I'm overreacting but if you've been with me long enough, you know the financial struggles we have had over the past few years and how we have learned to budget, live within our means, save, tried to pay down debt (but not been able to because of medical bills).  I feel as though we have been working "nose to grindstone" (is that how the saying goes?) for YEARS to no avail.  Has God forgotten us?  We know He has not, but it sure feels like it, when we struggle to stand on our feet to move forward and get knocked down again - every time. 

So, that was the start of the week.  Then, I find out my employer won't close the office down for Good Friday - that means I have to work and we had planned a weekend at Clay's sister's house - probably the last time we'll see them for a while.  Clay was able to borrow a car and left last night, leaving me home (I told him to go, if you're wondering.  I don't want him to miss this time with his sister's family just because of me!).  THEN, I get to work and the boss decides to close down at LUNCH TIME.  I had only been there 4 hours, so I miss a weekend with family that I LOVE for 4 hours of work!  Fie. 

I get home at lunch time today, frustrated, and feeling quite sorry for myself, but I began working on the never-ending to-do list.  I put some tunes on and started working.  Several songs played from my playlist that I hadn't heard in a couple years and it was so refreshing to hear the lyrics:

"I've got, got the victory
I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus,
He is our mighty conquerer,
In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight.
I've got, got the victory
I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus.
For me He died but He rose on the third day
That’s why I have true victory everyday!

Truly I've been through the storm and rain.
I know everything about heartache and pain.
But God carried me through it all
Without His protection I'd surely fall.
I’ve been broke without a dime to my name.
But all my bills got paid ‘cause I called on Jesus name.
You can't tell me that God isnt real 'cause I've got the victory and that's why I’m still here." - Yolanda Adams

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"Sometimes, sometimes I’m just
Runnin’ so fast that I can’t touch the ground
I’m spinning faster than a merry go round
I find myself in the lost and found
And sometimes, sometimes I’m just
Callin’ your name and I don’t know why
Holdin’ my head cryin’ “my oh my”
Up and down like the tide
But you’re the
Same yesterday, and tomorrow won’t change all your excellent ways" - Nicole C Mullen

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"I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go
And here's the reason why...

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on" - Natalie Grant


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I have only listed a few of the many lyrics but as I sang along, my spirit was lifted - because of the truth I was singing.  Amazing what a little praise will do the soul.  So, in closing, I will leave you with one of my favorite hymns (and another song I sang along to this afternoon) to ponder as we enter Good Friday.  May it bless you as it has blessed me today:

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul. 

It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul. 

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed his own blood for my soul. 

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!" Horatio G. Spafford 

life.joy.chocolate. it IS well.